Birmingham Mail

Thought the seagulls had taken revenge? Well panic not because Brian has merely moved to a new blogging home.

Click here to read more of Brian's blog entries.

See you there!

What can you do with Mums eh?
In the run-up to Christmas, Mary and I each told our mums: "Look, please, don't get us a Christmas cake this year. We're on a health drive. No sweet stuff. No cake. We always appreciate the cake and it is always delicious but, this year, please, we'll give it a miss. No cake. Ta."
Both maters appeared to take this message on board. But, just in case, we reinforced it a couple of times as Chrimbo approached. "Please...no cake...health drive...no cake...that is...cake not...no cake. "Righty-ho," they both said.

Both gave us a Christmas cake. What can you do?

Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to wish a very happy Christmas and groovy New Year to everyone who clicked on to and contributed to the cricket blog during 2007. Best wishes and thanks to you all. Hope you all have a great Chrimbo and New Year. Sadly, it's always a difficult time for me because it brings back some painful memories. I came from a poor family, you see. In fact, one year things were so tight that Mum and Dad gave me an empty box for Christmas and told me it was an action man deserter. Talking of spiny mammals, which I wasn't but I'm sure somebody on this big old globe of ours was at that very moment, even though we are heading for late December the hedgehog that traditionally attends my neighbour's garden for dinner every evening has still not hibernated. IN MID-DECEMBER!! The world is tilting on its axis, is it not? Mind you, I have to say that particular creature is rather unusual. One day last summer I looked out into the garden and there, to my great surprise, was my neighbour playing chess against this hedgehog. "Blimey," I said. "That must be an unusually bright animal." "Not really," said me nabe, "I'm beating him 3-2." Hedgehogs not bothering to hibernate does makes you think the world's gone bonkers but no more so than England's football team being managed by a bloke who can't even conduct his introductory press conference in English, although even that seems entirely sane and reasonable compared to the ECB's scandalously crass, greedy and short-sighted decision last year to flog all live international cricket to SKY, a decision which, if it were possible, will attain even more ludicrous proportions than ever before next summer when, with England's footballers absent from Euro 2008 (all no doubt using the spare time to swot up on Italian) centre-stage will be there to be seized by cricket only for live coverage of the national team to be available only to a tiny sprinkling of the potential audience. Once again, a very happy Christmas to all from me, Mary, my neighbour, her hedgehog and all the goldfinches.

Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to wish a very happy Christmas and groovy New Year to everyone who clicked on to and contributed to the cricket blog during 2007. Best wishes and thanks to you all. Hope you all have a great Chrimbo and New Year. Sadly, it's always a difficult time for me because it brings back some painful memories. I came from a poor family, you see. In fact, one year things were so tight that Mum and Dad gave me an empty box for Christmas and told me it was an action man deserter. Talking of spiny mammals, which I wasn't but I'm sure somebody on this big old globe of ours was at that very moment, even though we are heading for late December the hedgehog that traditionally attends my neighbour's garden for dinner every evening has still not hibernated. IN MID-DECEMBER!! The world is tilting on its axis, is it not? Mind you, I have to say that particular creature is rather unusual. One day last summer I looked out into the garden and there, to my great surprise, was my neighbour playing chess against this hedgehog. "Blimey," I said. "That must be an unusually bright animal." "Not really," said me nabe, "I'm beating him 3-2." Hedgehogs not bothering to hibernate does makes you think the world's gone bonkers but no more so than England's football team being managed by a bloke who can't even conduct his introductory press conference in English, although even that seems entirely sane and reasonable compared to the ECB's scandalously crass, greedy and short-sighted decision last year to flog all live international cricket to SKY, a decision which, if it were possible, will attain even more ludicrous proportions than ever before next summer when, with England's footballers absent from Euro 2008 (all no doubt using the spare time to swot up on Italian) centre-stage will be there to be seized by cricket only for live coverage of the national team to be available only to a tiny sprinkling of the potential audience. Once again, a very happy Christmas to all from me, Mary, my neighbour, her hedgehog and all the goldfinches.

"For the fly, the fly, the fly be on my turnip.
And it's all my eye, for we try, to keep fly off turnip".

Three twos and seven singles were the total of Vaughn Van Jaarsveld's first-team batting input during his Warwickshire career.

During the 2007 season, 40 ducks were registered in first-team cricket for the Bears.

Tim Ambrose hit 127 fours in the championship - but not a single six.

Adam Shantry and Alfonso Thomas both scored off every ball they received in the Pro40.

Ian Westwood faced 1,380 dot balls in the champo.

The Bears hit 31 sixes in the Twenty20 but conceded 34.

Kumar Sangakkarra scored 11 threes in championship cricket.

A few thoughts on the 2008 fixtures.
1. Five Twenty20 games away then five at home. Only in cricket....
2. With respect to the Oval, Old Trafford etc., nice to see back in the Bears' itinerary more of Northampton, Leicester and Derby again. Venues just as historic and more charming than many of the bigger ones.
3. Oakham, Milton Keynes and (probably) Southgate will be appealing for travelling Bears fans. Big shame - an outrage, some would say - that Warwickshire continue to ignore their own outgrounds.
4. Glad to be going back to Chelmsford. I can collect the underpants I left hanging out to dry on the hotel balcony there but then forgot about in 2001.
5. Season ends on September 27. Are we inching inexorably towards Christmas cricket?

"The flowers left thick at nightfall in the wood
This Eastertide call into mind the men,
Now far from home, who, with their sweethearts, should
Have gathered them and will do never again."

'In Memoriam (Easter 1915)'. Edward Thomas.

In the big picture, sport - football, cricket, the Ashes, trophies, leagues, Bears, Pears, Blues, Villa, any of it - doesn't really matter very much does it?

Good news. Sources from the south-west suggest that Warwickshire's championship visit to Gloucestershire next season will not be at Bristol (the most charmless cricket ground in the history of the world, nay universe). Sadly, it's not Cheltenham the Bears will be heading for but Gloucester is still a lot groovier than Bristol.
Aye - grandparents. When my Nan used to visit she always used to bring me a banana. Like it was a real treat. She'd always beam as though she was handing over the biggest thrill in the world. I felt like saying "Nan - rationing finished decades ago yer silly old bird. Bananas are two-a penny". Never did though. Bless 'er - she kept her teeth in a half-pint glass at night.

Just when we thought 2007 would be a year to entirely forget for the Bears, October has brought glory. Paul Warren has swept magnificently into the regional final of Britain's Best Dish (ITV 5pm).
His exquisite trout mousse had Jilly Goolden drooling (I think it was over the mousse) and wiped the floor with the fry-up served up by his opponent Mike.
In a thrilling, end-to-end encounter, Mike warned: "I'm going to trounce his trout mousse!" But Paul cleverly declined to get drawn into a war of words, honed his horse-radish sauce to perfection and kept his nerve brilliantly to produce what one judge described as "a true classic."

According to the "Atlas of Bird Migration" (quite a thick book so everything in it must be true): "Contrary to popular belief, there is no such creature as a "seagull". Although many gulls are birds of inshore waters and some rarely leave the open ocean, others nest far from any ocean and, during migration, cross the prairie grasses and farmland that characterises the American Great Plains - the antithesis of "seagull" habitat."

So, there you have it. I, and others inside and outside the Edgbaston press-box, can only admit, candidly and shamefully, that we were wrong. Sincere apologies.

Ladies and gentlemen, one last post (I won't be blogging Sunday's game - I'm off to lie down in a darkened room for a month) to say that, post-match, Mark Greatbatch said he will meet the chief executive on Monday and have a "season's debrief" on Tuesday but he would be "very disappointed" not to return to Edgbaston next year.
I think he might be in for a disappointment.

Thanks again for all your comments on and interest in this blog and your company and general pleasure-to-knowness around the grounds this season. Cheers, all.

Whoops of delight from Lancashire's supporters greet the announcement that Lancashire's win has lifted them top of the table.

Defeat arrived in a appropriately scruffy way - four byes as Ambrose failed to gather a quicker ball from Botha.

Lancashire 71 for 1, won by nine wickets. The Bears also reap a point-deduction, still being calculated by the scorers.

Lancashire 50 for 1. Chilton 16, Croft 10.

They require 18 from 122 overs with nine wickets left.

Come on Bears, dig deep.

Streak still on. Probably got about 12 more opportunities to get that wicket.

Carter draws an edge from Horton and Ambrose takes a brilliant catch in front of first slip.

Lancashire 32 for 1. Chilton 10 Croft 0.

Time is running out for Streak. He is still plugging away but it's fair to say he looks less than agile at the moment. It took him so long to get in to join the celebration (I use the term loosely) huddle for Carter's wicket that it was almost time for the next ball.

Attention swivels to Streak and his pursuit of his 500th first-class wicket.

Leaving Warwickshire after this season, it's far from certain that he will ever play another first-class match. So with Lancashire requiring only 68, time is running out.

He did not induce a false shot in his first two overs but began his third by ripping a leg-cutter past the helpless Chilton's outside-edge. The tension is palpable.

Mahmood flattens Loudon's off and middle stumps and the former participant in the Eton Wall Game departs for 80. Three balls later, Mahmood bowls Anyon.

Warwickshire 272 all out.

Lancashire require 68.

The Bears are going to have to bowl jolly well to win this.

Chapple delivers a ball which is simply too good for Thomas who falls lbw for 15.

As Thomas trudges away, Loudon contemplates at the non-striker's end. A penny for his thoughts.
Are they a) shame we'll be playing at the likes of Derby and Cardiff next season or b) at the end of this season I'll be out of this club faster than Jesse Owens out of Berlin in 1936?

Warwickshire 252 for 8. Loudon 66, Carter 6.

Lunch: Warwickshire 225 for 7. Loudon 54, Thomas 6.

Warwickshire continue to pile on the pressure. They now lead by 20 runs. Over lunch, Tim Ambrose is pondering when to declare.

Lancashire started to look distinctly ragged towards the end of the morning session. Heads began to drop, not least when Thomas clipped a single to fine-leg to take the lead to a commanding 15.

Suddenly the mood at the ground changes. Lancashire's supporters, hitherto cock-a-hoop and buoyant, have long faces and furrowed brows. Anxiety is etched upon their fizzogs.

Warwickshire are in front.

212 for 7. Loudon 46, Thomas 0. Seven runs to the good.

Now who's laughing, Lancashire?

Cork gets one to lift on off stump and Botha fails to drop his hands quickly enough and gloves to the wicket-keeper for a duck.

Warwickshire 202 for 6. Loudon 41, Streak 0.

They are going to avoid the innings defeat aren't they? Three needed.

Relegation edges even closer as Hampshire follow-on against Kent and Ambrose, on 16, is deceived by a slower ball and chips Cork to mid-off.

Warwickshire 201 for 5. Loudon 41, Ambrose 0.

Should avoid an innings defeat from here (four more runs needed).

Good news-wise, that's about it.

Parker makes his not-so-sprightly way back to the pavilion after having his off-stump flattened by a full-length ball from Newby.

Warwickshire 165 for 4. Loudon 23, Ambrose 0.

38 required to avoid an innings defeat. Six wickets left. Thick cloud assisting swing bowling and the light is indifferent although, frustratingly for Warwickshire, not quite gloomy enough for suspension of play.

Warwickshire 160 for 3 (54 overs). Loudon 19, Parker 14. The Bears are 45 behind.

Loudon appears to have his concentration-head on this morning while Parker has started in sprightly fashion.

There has just been a five-minute delay while the umpires considered Dominic Cork's request for a change of ball. After much milling around and scratching of heads (first their own, then each other's), they acceded.

After 17 minutes play Trott, stuck in the crease, is lbw to Chapple having not added to his overnight 42.

Warwickshire 137 for 3. Loudon 10, Parker 4. Still need another 68 to make Lancashire bat again.

Why are 97% of wall-mirrors in this country between six and ten inches too low?

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. It's an overcast morning in Manchester, not ideal for batting so the Bears could have their work cut out!

I wonder if anyone can help me out. Last night,I popped into a public house. It was a bit dreary and reminded me of a poem, written by Anthony Thwaite, based on a visit he made to a pub in Manchester. He found some mysterious graffiti on the toilet wall: "Mr Cooper - dead".
The poem is called "Mr Cooper" and I've found mention of it on the net but can't find the actual poem itself. Can anyone help?

Play has been abandoned for the day due to sunshine!! The glare at the Stretford Road end means that the last 13 overs were lost.

If the game was a closer contest, Lancashire, right in the running for the title, might have had a bit to say about it. Irrespective of that, the spectators have been robbed of an hour's entertainment.

Sometimes, cricket really shouldn't be allowed out...

"Get on with it", "Get 'em back" and "Rubbish" are three of the comments uttered with feeling by Lancashire supporters after the players leave the field due to the batsmen being inconvenienced by, wait for it, the sun!

It's shining too brightly, would you believe.

Warwickshire 125 for 2. Sometimes, I do wonder about cricket.

The Cricket Gods, devout readers of this blog, having spotted that I had just referred to "Resolute Warwickshire resistance" instantly decreed that Westwood should lean forward to Keedy and pop up a catch to short leg off bat and pad. Out for 50.

Warwickshire 113 for 2. Trott 38, Loudon 0.

Can they avoid the customary clatter?

Warwickshire 117 for 1 (40 overs). Westwood 50, Trott 36.

Westwood has just reached 50, from 122 balls with seven fours. A fine, chanceless knock by the opener. Trott, meanwhile, is batting patiently and correctly.

Just watching Trott play out a maiden from Keedy with six rock-solid defensive shots made you wonder how so much of the Bears' batting came to be so lacking in resolution for so long. Most of them really are better players than they have looked in the last two months.

Tea: Warwickshire 86 for 1 (27 overs). Westwood 40, Trott 16.

More solid batting from this pair. The biggest alarm came when Trott called Westwood through for a crazy single and Westwood would have been run out by yards if Cork, following up after bowling, had hit the stumps with his throw.

Warwickshire 60 for 1. Westwood 30, Trott 0.

Powell, on 23, drives at Keedy and edges to Laxman slip.

Is this to be the match in which Trott bounces back?

Warwickshire 51 for 0 (11 overs). Powell 20, Westwood 26.

Powell and Westwood are applying themselves diligently. There have been two or three edges through the slips but no chances given.

Keedy is just coming on. The spinner could be the key man from here on in. If Warwickshire deal well with him, Lancashire will have to work their ageing seamers much harder.

Sitting 'ere at Old Trafford, seven Warwickshire "experts" have predicted the close of play score.
George 164 for 5
Kim 143 for 7
Jane 107 for 2
Alan 198 for 9
John 135 for 2
Paul 200 for 3
Brian 118 all out. Anyone else fancy their chances as a pundit?

Lancashire 311 all out. Laxman edges Carter to Ambrose to perish for 103.
Carter finishes with 5 for 67. The lead is 205.

Now, can Warwickshire
a) get their fingers out
b) make Lancashire bat again
c) take the game into tomorrow
d) win?

Newby aims a big sweep at Botha and misses, perishing clean bowled for 26.

Lancashire 305 for 9. Laxman 101, Keedy 0.

Another valuable bowling point is banked,

Lancashire 299 for 8 (94 overs). Laxman 99, Newby 22.

Lancashire making serene progress. Botha is wheeling away but has just been lifted for a straight four by number ten Newby. Thomas is being Thomas - persevering and whole-hearted but without looking especially potent.

Suet.

Lunch: Lancashire 267 for 8. Laxman 83, Newby 6.
161 ahead.

Let's not abandon all hope. There have been great turnarounds before.
Powell, Westwood, Trott, Loudon and Ambrose have all proved in the past they are capable of playing major innings.

If the Bears can total 500-plus...

Carter gets one to rear at Mahmood who gloves it to the wicket-keeper.

Lancashire 255 for 8. Laxman 76, Newby 2.

This is classy work from Laxman. The lead is now 149 and the press-box concensus is that we will all be on our way home tonight. It's a long time since a Warwickshire innings lasted much more than two sessions.

Warwickshire's position is enhanced by two fine catches at point. Streak drops short and Chapple, on 16, cuts hard to Parker who takes a great catch to give the bowler his 499th first-class wicket.

In the next over Carter, in his first over of the day, drops short and Cork, still to score, cuts hard to Anyon who dives low to take the catch well.

Lancashire 213 for 7. Laxman 51, Cork 0. 107 ahead.

The ball is swinging and Streak is bowling a good spell which includes a groovy outswinger which Sutton edges to Ambrose.

Lancashire 192 for 5. Laxman 42, Chapple 7.

Chapple often seems to get a few runs against the Bears.

Ernie Wise got married within weeks of Eric Morecambe. But to a different woman.

Lancashire 163 for 4. Laxman 22, Sutton 6.

Lancashire cricket manager Mike Watkinson is temporarily umpiring in place of Nigel Cowley who has experienced chest pains and will undergo surgery next weekend. John Holder is on the way as a replacement.

Thomas and Botha are bowling. It's overcast so the ball should swing. One wonders how Ernie Wise's career would have unfolded had he not met Eric Morecambe.

Good morning ladies and gentlemen.
As I parked up in Old Trafford this morning I was greeted by a Lancashire steward. Smart as a guardsman in his red jacket, he was casting an eye over Warwickshire's players indulging in their customary pre-play football game.
"Y'know," he mused,"The way they played yesterday I thought they might be practicing their cricket."

But is this to be the day the Bears bite back?

The close: Lancashire 156 for 4. Laxman 22,

Horton edged the last ball of the day to Ambrose off Botha. He made 71, having faced more balls than nine of Warwickshire's batsmen put together.

A welcome late fillip for the Bears but it would be stretching it to say it evened the day right up.

Good evening. I'm off to me seedy hotel to get in a few hours kip before the seagulls start.

Law, on 43, cuts at Carter and Powell clings on to a fine catch in the slips.

Lancashire 130 for 3 (47 overs). Horton 65, Laxman 2.

Warwickshire 106 all out, Lancashire 116 for 2. Kent 304 for 4.

I need to cleanse my soul. I've got a confession to make.
At lunchtime a quantity of fresh fruit was brought up to the press box. It contained two large, juicy Conference pears.
I took them both.

I'm a bad person.

Pitch inspector Peter Walker has just popped into the media facility to report that he is perfectly happy with the pitch.

"It did a bit early on as you would expect," he reported, "but it's a good pitch."

Lancashire 88 for 2 (30 overs). Horton 49, Law 19.

Tea. Lancashire 76 for 2 (24 overs). Horton 45, Law 12.

Warwickshire's seamers (led by Carter's 6-2-10-1) have plugged away nobly enough, as they have done all season. But so pitiful was the batting that the bowlers have an impossible job to do.

A gentleman just entered the press box and inquired: "Who's here from the Yorkshire Post?"
It was gently pointed out to him that the Roses Match here was, in fact, in July.

The admirable Carter digs one in at Croft who can only fend it up in the air and Ambrose takes the catch.

Lancashire 58 for 2 (17 overs). Horton 35, Law 4.

Rather ominously, Law thunders his second ball to the cover fence. But Carter is bowling well and Streak also keeping it tight and causing one or two problems despite his dodgy back.

A brea