Birmingham Mail

Back in 2002, following Jeff Astle's death, Albion announced plans to honour the club's very own King by building gates in his honour, which now stand by the entrance to the East Stand car park.

The Birmingham Mail proposed at the time that the club should rename each one of the four stands after club legends.

We suggested Tony Brown, Ronnie Allen, WG Richardson and Astle were the appropriate heroes. At the very least we called for the fans to be given a chance to vote for their chosen hero.

Albion's then regime liked but, ultimately, rejected the idea, offering the counter argument that the stands were an ideal hook for potential advertisers and could, as a result, generate revenue.

Six years on and there are renewed calls for 'Bomber' Brown - Mr West Bromwich Albion - to be honoured, as underlined by the overwhelming reaction from supporters to our very own Albion Legends supplement last week.

Albion fan Paul Hayward has now gone one better by putting pen to paper in honour of Albion's greatest ever goalscorer and record appearance holder.

Paul has kindly given the Birmingham Mail permission to reproduce his dedication to Bomber.

And we reckon it'll strike a chord with Albion fans everywhere, including the Legend himself.

Bobby Moore stands foot on ball at the head of Wembley way,
And Sir Matt surveys Old Trafford on a wet Manchester day,
A statue too for Shankly who’s been honoured by the Reds,
The greatest men remembered as football thoroughbreds.

There’s a sculpture too of Matthews, a legend up at Stoke,
A player who was knighted, just an ordinary bloke,
Even Wolverhampton’s got one; the great “Sir� Billy Wright,
He played for England many times (and a club that we don't like)

Have Albion got a player to match these football greats?
To deserve a Hawthorns’ statue standing by the Astle Gates,
Did we ever have a player, who for twenty years or more
Broke all appearance records, and never failed to score,
Who Baggies fans are proud to say “he played for us you know;
And I saw him play in blue and white all those years ago�

Yes we have an Albion player who surpassed the very best,
Topped the scoring charts one season beating Charlton, Law and Best,
And all this from midfield, not a striker out and out,
The greatest Albion goal scorer of that there is no doubt.

Who never left this club of ours when relegation came,
And continued his explosive goals as ever just the same,
Rarely missed a penalty, his blasts would burst the net,
The ball he hit at Hillsborough ain’t stopped rolling yet!

We have an Albion player, who won the FA cup,
And scored the all important goal to take the Albion up,
Then made his name all over again in Big Ron’s brilliant team,
Netting his reputation as our greatest goal machine.

Scored 2 against Valencia in a European match,
With a 70s perm and flailing tongue beneath his thick moustache,
The defining image of an Albion great, at the height of his success,
Let’s mount that image for all to see on a plinth of bronze no less.

His stats say 574 games and 218 goals scored,
Those stats deserve an honour, a lifelong club award,
For even now he’s scoring goals at every Albion game,
From the commentary (not the penalty) box, perhaps it’s not the same,
But it shows his love and support for the club after over forty years,
He’s lived and breathed the Albion, the good times and the tears,
What a journey it’s been since 62 - his debut at Ipswich Town,
Now it’s time we honoured our greatest player – Tony Bomber Brown.

With thanks to Paul.

Over to you now Albion. We tried six years ago - how about now?

Some ramblings from the FA Cup.

1. Alan Pardew speaks in hushed tones. Twenty two years of EastEnders tells us that you should never trust a Londoner who does so.

2. Why are Londoners so miserable when they travel on the Underground? Mind you did you know that a visit from Albion once sparked a minor panic on London's Underground system? There was an unfortunate episode, a year or so ago, when an Albion photographer spotted Baggies' legend Tony 'Bomber' Brown stood at the other end of his train carriage. All was well until the star-struck snapper called out his hero's nickname across a train packed full of passengers...

3. Word has reached me, via two friends, of the somewhat extreme lengths Charlton are going to in a bid to entice Albion fans back down to the Valley for the televised Good Friday kick-off when the two sides meet in the League. One of the properties backing onto the away end entrance/exit was occupied by a somewhat troubled young female who decided, quite literally it seems, to bare all in front of her own window, presumably for the benefit of the visiting fans. By all accounts it was more X-rated horror show than Erica Roe. The upshot is, my mates, both of them seasoned followers, intend to watch the League fixture on TV.

4. Let's clear this one up. If you read any reports linking Albion with Luton's David Bell, ignore them. He isn't a target, hasn't been and probably never will be. Tony Mowbray is getting bored of being asked the question and having to deny it. And who can blame him - how many times can you tell people you're not interested in a player until some people, who ought to know better, get the message. While we're at it, there have been no bids for Zoltan Gera since last January. He'll be staying until May unless silly money is offered in January. Richard Chaplow? You can read what Tony Mowbray has to say about him and others in Tuesday's Birmingham Mail or our website, www.icbirmingham.co.uk

5. You'll never guess who's back at The Hawthorns next month...? Again, check out Tuesday's paper or website.

Allow me to share some thoughts.

1. I didn't see a single tractor all afternoon. Why the Tractorboys?

2. Which one of the FA Committee doesn't wash his hands after he's been to the toilet? This man was one of the 'suits' choosing YOUR England manager... Urgh

3. Ipswich Town are an example to every club in the country - a family club, run on traditional values and with the community at heart. Each corridor is covered in wall-to-wall newspaper cuttings, memorabilia, momentoes of former heroes, great managers (Ramsay and Robson for starters - even though West Ham like to claim exclusivity for England's few success stories).

4. Having attended a 'bad taste' party on New Year's Eve I was rather disappointed to not have any funny stories to tell you. And, contrary to rumours, I opted against wearing a Stoke shirt. There's bad taste...and there's bad taste.

5. Ipswich's HOME record W11 D2 L0.... AWAY? W0 D4 L9

If, a big IF, Ipswich sort that away form out then don't be surprised to see Albion's biggest challenge for promotion coming from the Suffolk men. As Albion man I've seen every side this season - Ipswich are the only team to have beaten Albion without any problems. The Baggies got what they deserved.

6. Full marks to Ipswich Town's head of media for having the foresight to attach a handle to the door of the press room. It's a small touch but it's amazing how much it adds to a club.

Yes, you read that correctly. Some thoughts...

1. Tony Pulis. Used Albion's wealth as an excuse last season and again this season. Call me Bill Murray but haven't we been here before. Mr Pulis, the reason Albion have the parachute payments is that they earned the right to be in the Premiership over the course of three seasons. Unlike, say, Stoke. Groundhog Day indeed.

2. Why does the press room at the Britannia Stadium not have a door handle? Members of the media have to knock on the door to enter the press room. Presumably this is ritual endured by all clubs...but why? Are we not living in the 21st century. Surely a door handle is available from a Wickes store or B&Q somewhere within Staffs. Are handymen in short supply? What's going on?

3. To the neanderthal sat directly in front of BBC Radio WM's reporter on Saturday... he isn't an Albion fan. Turning round to him, abusing him, swearing at him and pointing at him was all very well but we all found you, at best, slightly amusing and, at worst, a bit of a fool.

4. To those from the Potteries wishing to condone violence following my Birmingham Mail report - firstly, show yourselves, I don't reply to pseudonyms or abusive emails. Secondly, be honest... are you really proud of how your team play football? Do you go home satisfied after another turgid, caveman-style victory? Are 25 years of superiority over Albion the end product of your ambition?

My report was based on watching 24 Championship football clubs plus many more games in different leagues throughout the season and beyond. Stoke are potentially impressive and possess decent players. You have an excellent midfield, a sturdy defence and a fantastic striker. They are footballers - they should be used as such.

My opinion is no better or worse than your's. When you go up - which I think you will - you'll be getting a lot worse from Hansen, Lawrenson and co.

5. Apologies to John Prescott. With hindsight you didn't deserve the slur.

Merry Christmas to all, especially my friends in Stoke-on-Trent.

Allow me to jog your memory.

These are the exact words of a match report I penned for the Birmingham Mail sometime ago.

"MAKE a note of the name: Nigel Miller of County Durham ... and beware, because he could be coming to ruin a football match near you very soon.
"...Miller is in his first season of Football League officiating and hopefully it will be his last.
"He was absolutely appalling. Everything he could get wrong, he got wrong.
"He was oblivious to mistimed challenges and offthe-ball incidents, while booking players for no apparent reason and blowing his whistle every 30 seconds.
"More than 2,500 Albion fans made the long journey and all of them deserve reimbursing from Miller's own pocket for being subjected to a pathetic, attention-seeking performance that simply beggared belief."

The reference to 2,500 Albion fans making a long journey should be a give-away - I wasn't on about Nigel Miller's display against Sheffield Wednesday at The Hawthorns last month.

These were my reflections on Miller's abject display when Albion travelled to Burnley for a League fixture on January 17, 2004.

Miller refused to answer questions following his poor performance at Burnley. So it's perhaps no surprise that he refused to be held accountable to the press, and subsequently the paying public, following his shambolic handling of Albion's draw against Sheffield Wednesday, when he not only played six minutes of time added on - three were held up by the fourth official - but failed to blow for a foul in the build up to the Owls' injury-time equaliser.

Everyone saw the foul - even Brian Laws acknowledged it. Not Miller.

As a result, Tony Mowbray expressed his disgust by walking onto the pitch and using a few choice strong words. After the game, while Mowbray explained himself, Miller merely made a hasty exit to his car, surrounded by stewards. He wasn't man enough to explain his decisions. The sign of a coward.

Mowbray, whose exemplary track record on the touchline was taken into account by the FA, was handed a suspended three-match touchline ban and £3,000 fine.

Yet Miller is no stranger to this. Ian McParland, the Notts County manager, is facing an improper conduct charge after being sent off by Miller a fortnight ago after protesting about a penalty awarded to Shrewsbury.

Miller also has history with Dennis Wise at Leeds, having dismissed the Elland Road boss earlier in the campaign.

It seems he makes enemies everywhere yet is too important (in his own eyes obviously) to be held accountable. Supporters suffer. They pay good money to see football matches, yet their support is in vain when referees like Miller take over a game.

Managers, meanwhile, get hit in the pockets.

By the way, I'm told the assessors didn't think much of his performance against Wednesday either - so why wasn't this made public?

Mowbray, McParland, Wise and Gary Megson have all been on the receiving end of Miller.

Little did I know, almost four years ago, just how bad Miller would become and how many games he would ruin. And those are just the matches we know about.

His punishment is to go on being unpunished. No doubt Miller will one day be handed a Cup Final and a book deal as a reward for his notoriety.

Meanwhile, everyone else suffers in the process...

Like I said back in January 2004, make a note of the name Nigel Miller. One day he'll be ruining a football game near you.

Some things I learned...

1. Gary Lineker, Willie Thorne, Nick Pullen, Showaddywaddy, Engelbert Humper...Humped...Humpit...yes you, where are you all? Your club needs you. There is nothing more soul-destroying than a new stadium, with more empty seats than punters and the rain teaming down with significant force. Even the Foxes' bugle seemed flat. Mind you, bet you they were all regulars during the Premiership years...

2. Which idiot decided to schedule a Championship football match for the same afternoon as Leicester Tigers' clash against Toulouse? (Note to BMW/Mercedes drivers - you do NOT have right-of-way. You just think you have.)

3. Ian Holloway likes to talk. His last press conference lasted a whopping 31 minutes until it was ended by the journalists who, as enthralled as they were by Holloway's ramblings, had rather imminent deadlines to meet. On Saturday he ended his press conference by demanding more questions from the floor and then telling all about his plans for Christmas.

4. Goal hero Craig Beattie once promised me an interview after each time he scored a goal. On Saturday he shied away from myself and other colleagues. Since last scoring for Albion he has suffered with a loss of form, the form of others, injuries, illness and, it now emerges, was even heckled by fans during a recent reserve team game. Disgraceful. No wonder he didn't want to talk. Craig, not everyone is against you. Go and prove them wrong again. And then don't forget to honour that promise...

Things I found out over in dreary south London.

1. Crystal Palace FC is nowhere near Crystal Palace. It's about two miles away. Which in London means about a one hour drive away. In fact, a 500-yard journey in London normally means negotiating two mini-roundabouts, half-a-dozen speedbumps, one white van driver and a black cab mounting the kerb to avoid the 'Golf Sale' signs. And it takes one hour.

2. Simon Jordan is morphing into Ziggy from Big Brother.

3. Neil Warnock was time wasting in the final minutes. Deliberately ignoring the ball as it rolled past him during throw-ins on several occasions. Shame on you Neil.

4. London is not fit to stage the Olympics. The world's most over-rated city should hand over the torch to Paris immediately and save the British tax payer a lot of expense. It takes hours to get from A to B (see No1), the transport infrastructure was clearly designed and built by drunkards and London is about as aesthetically appealing as an Austin Allegro.

5. People in London do not know how to drive. It's no coincidence that British motor sport heroes Lewis Hamilton, Nigel Mansell, Colin McRae and Richard Burns were not Londoners. James Hunt was from nearby Cheam. And he was called Hunt the Shunt for a reason. The Highway Code might as well be printed in Greek as far as Londoners are concerned.

6. Neil Warnock and I share a birthday with Woody Allen and Bette Midler. I expect plenty of sympathy.

7. Albion fans - who on earth is 'Colin'? Ah...

8. The M40 is one of London's triumphs - especially the bit that says 'M40, North and Midlands'. Salvation in the form of Tarmac and white lines.

9. Never laugh at the Black Country or Birmingham accent again. There are 26 letters in the English alphabet, 25 in London. Once within the M25 boundaries, leave the 'H' behind and remember to pick it back up when you leave.

A few things I learned.

1. It's a hell of a long way. Four hours and you're still stuck on the road. Mind you we should all be grateful. Last year Plymouth's press office were celebrating their game at The Hawthorns being during midweek. The 440-mile round journey was actually their second nearest game of the 2006/07 season!

2. Was Craig Beattie wearing studs? It wasn't that wet surely?

3. Paul Sturrock. Football manager or a coach driver? Discuss.

4. When he talks, Roman Bednar sounds like a villain from a James Bond movie. White cat, scar just below left eye and a fascination with death is somewhat optional. The Eastern European accent is commendable. Comrade Mowbray, you have been warned.

5. Sheffield Wednesday's most famous fan - the overweight, bald, bare chested Wolverhampton-based 'Tango Man' - has been banned by Plymouth. Apparently he was provocative. And he received a right ticking off from chief executive Michael Dunford in the programme too.

6. Returned to my Plymouth B&B to find a facebook message from David Ellin, who resides by my parents and believes Koren may be Albion's best ever free transfer. David may just be right. He also informs me that a certain West Bromwich pub, owned by a relative of Bryan Robson's, was frequented by Steve Bruce and the ex-Albion boss recently. Oh to be a beer mat on that particular table...

7. Going to Plymouth brought back memories of Albion's former striker Micky Evans. I recall attending an Albion player of the year function when Micky's brother was walking around the room, shaking random supporters' hands and introducing himself as 'hi, I'm Micky Evans' brother'. It must be a Devon thing. Pass the banjo.

Finally, a big thank you to the Sutton Coldfield branch of the Albion supporters' club for making me feel so welcome tonight. THANK YOU

A few thoughts:

1. Leon Barnett's aunt Beverley voted off X Factor. Call it a coincidence, but I can't help wondering whether the fickle finger of fate is playing a part. A bad omen for Albion perhaps?

2. Beverley's singing - come to think of it, my singing - is better than Steve Bull's grasp of geography. Bully recycled his 'Sandwell Town' gag - he was talking about Albion - on TV a couple of days ago. Surely he should have learnt his lessons from last season when he said the same thing on the Molineux pitch before the play-off semi-final. A bad omen for Wolves perhaps? Bully, you're from Tipton...as in Tipton, in Sandwell.

3. Flicking through the Birmingham Mail's ever-popular weekly archive re-print, this time from December 1979, I couldn't help noticing that Albion and Wolves were 14 and 16-1 respectively to win the 1980 FA Cup Final, ahead of Everton, Leeds, Chelsea and Newcastle (the latter two at 66-1). Villa were 20-1 and Blues 66-1.

Call it a 'sneaky feeling' but I'll be putting a grand down on West Ham United at 80-1 and, while I'm at, I might even go with Trevor Brooking to get a headed goal at, oh I don't know, at least 1000-1. All of this, that is, after I've watched tonight's Charlie's Angels and Richard Stilgoe show.

4. I challenge anyone to match the criteria which I believe makes Albion v Wolves the most competitive derby in England.
The boxes to be ticked include:
Proximity to each other; status of both clubs in relation to League; past honours; expectation of fans at the given club; on/off field passion.

You can keep your Birmingham, North East, Merseyside, Manchester, north London, East Anglia derbies. The Black Country ding dong is surely the most competitive in England based on criteria met, even if they are outside of the top flight.

The rest are, in their own way, flawed.
You have the: A. mis-matched (Villa are traditionally far bigger than Blues, like Sunderland are way behind Newcastle)
B. too far away (50 miles separates Norwich from Ipswich),
C. one-sided (Manchester - this year being the exception),
D. lacking in intensity (Merseyside) or simply relics from the 1990s (north London).

5. Why is the Black Country derby shunned by TV companies, yet Preston v Charlton is considered worthy of screening?

6. Whatever happened to Richard Stilgoe?

Excuse me for moving away from Albion but I've been riled tonight.

I'll hold my hands up now - I had half an eye on Group A tonight as I did on England's game against Croatia.

In truth, Poland had already qualified, by beating Belgium on Saturday. Tonight they clinched top spot after drawing with Serbia and thanks to Portugal failure to beat Finland.

And there ends the good news.

England's failure to qualify for Euro 2008 leaves me thinking back to 1994. Not so much Graham Taylor's England but more Gerard Houllier's France team, which failed to make the USA World Cup. This was the so-called Golden generation of players like David Ginola, Jean-Pierre Papin, Youri Djorkaeff, Laurent Blanc, Emmanuel Petit and, of course, Eric Cantona. Les Bleus failed to qualify as a result of a home defeat to Bulgaria in the final game.

Yet France turned inevitable outpouring of anger and disappointment into a period of transformation. New coach Aime Jacquet restructured the team. The whole culture of French football changed. They stopped expecting, got over their self-importance, stopped eating themselves and started to rebuild from the very pits of despair. Some players survived the cull, others, more peripheral and less able players, didn't.

In 1998 France won the World Cup. Two years later they were European Champions. These days they count anything less than a semi-final as a failure.

Trouble is, will the big-wigs at the FA read the signals?

England have slipped behind. Ten years ago, England were struggling to keep pace with Italy, Germany, France, Brazil, Argentina and the Czech Republic. These days they are relying on handouts from Israel, Macedonia and, shame of all shames, Andorra.

Steve McClaren will probably lose his job in the next few days - perhaps even by the time you've read this. But don't rejoice too soon. Last night's England side proved there is a lot wrong with the game in this country. I wouldn't be surprised if Jose Mourinho, the popular choice, took one look at this side and turned his nose up at it. Who'd blame him?

It seems sensitive little soul Jay Tabb was a little upset to hear those nasty Albion fans singing horrible songs about Coventry City on Monday.

So much so that the offended Sky Blues midfielder cannot wait until next month's return at The Hawthorns so he can blow a great, big raspberry at the Baggies faithful.

Having been born in the south London borough of Tooting you'd have thought Tabb would be more streetwise and used to the culture of football fans (having lived in Wolfie Smith Land as a student I can assure you that needing to keep your wits about you comes with the postcode).

And now, thanks to Tabb, Albion fans will need no more incentive than to crank up the volume against the Sky Blues.

Showing the kind of arrogance which underlines how out-of-step some younger footballers can be, and, which does little for the more mature, good guys in his profession, Tabb said: "The good thing is we have got them again in four games time and we will be well up for it.

"Their players did a good job and they weren't cocky about it but it is not nice when you hear their fans singing some of the songs they were singing.

"I know they are only football fans at the end of the day but it was a bit harsh on us because we had worked hard and, certainly, at half time those fans must have thought we were the better side."

Only football fans?

Oh dear Jay.

You never know when you might need some football fans - even if they are only football fans - to help or support you when your own career is on its final legs...

Someone ought to remind Jay that football fans have long memories and deserve more respect.

Power to the People, as they used to say in Tooting.

A few things I learned about Coventry:

1. Michael Mifsud. What was he complaining about? Okay so Phil Dowd took a while making his decision and seemed to have an incredible urge to keep sticking his fingers into his ears (was it me, or was there a cable leading from it....?) but Mosquito Boy, you were guilty. An elbow is an elbow, regardless of how Dowd reached his decision.
Mifsud will now serve a three match ban - his next game? At The Hawthorns on December 4.

2. It was good to see Iain Dowie being a little more gracious in defeat than predecessor Micky Adams. My mind goes back to last season's 5-0 defeat at The Hawthorns. For those who didn't go, the game was not only notable for Albion's rout but for the rousing Beatles medley from the Cov fans, who kept faith with their club by singing non-stop throughout the game. It was gallows humour at its very best.
Yet what those poor fans don't know is how little their manager at the time thought of them. When Adams was asked about his reaction to the Coventry fans' support he gave two answers. The one he gave on the record, spoke of his admiration for their support. Yeah right.
The second answer, once the microphones were switched off, saw Adams offering a different opinion. He claimed the visiting fans were condescending and insulting to him and his team. Charming.

3. A new stadium yet I had to pay £10 to park my car in a scrap yard, next to a burnt out Mini and Portakabin being patrolled by a guard dog and a man who looked remarkably like Cain Dingle. It seems they forgot to build enough car parking space at the Ricoh. And they don't even do receipts...how do I get that through expenses? Even the 'soft lad' in Liverpool managed to provide me with a receipt, albeit on a ripped-up piece of a B&H fag packet, when I parked by an OAP home next to Anfield three years ago.

4. They have a massive casino underneath the Ricoh Arena, exclusive to members only. Naturally, being a nosey so and so, I had to check it out myself. Very impressive too. Perhaps if Coventry owned that and the rest of the Ricoh they wouldn't find themselves in the financial peril they find themselves now.

Thanks to my former Uni housemate and current Sky producer John for getting me in - see you next month pal.

You have to feel some sympathy for Tony Mowbray. Not only does he lose Martin Albrechtsen for six weeks but Kevin Phillips is also ruled out for x-number of weeks, maybe even months, with a horrible knee injury (that picture of his contorted face on the back page of Thursday night's Black Country Mail was quite unnerving).

Throw in Craig Beattie's calf strain along with Mowbray's FA charge for 'improper conduct and using abusive and insulting words' to referee Nigel Miller and, all in all, it's not been a vintage week for our Tone.

However, the future is bright, the future is orange. Or even white and red. Or even white, red and blue.

Dutch youngster Sherjill MacDonald, Pole Bartek Slusarski and Roman Bednar of the Czech Republic have scored 17 goals between them in the last half a dozen or so reserve games.

Bednar has hit six in three second-string games, MacDonald six in six and Slusarski got five in six (after also scoring one earlier in the campaign)

Mowbray is simply spoilt for choice.

And let's not forget John Hartson, fresh from his shortened loan spell at Norwich...

No, surely not?

Five things occured to me at Vicarage Road.

1. The groundstaff don't mess around after the final whistle - the football goals come up, the rugby posts are slotted in and the new lines are marked out by 5.05pm. Question is, can anyone tell the difference between Saracens and Watford, given the number of high, long balls the Hornets pumped down the channels during the first half?

2. Tony Mowbray is no slouch. The Vicarage Road press room is situated in a Portakabin next to the away end behind one of the goals. An Albion victory usually means that Mowbray is swift in coming out to speak to the press. On Saturday he was so quick that he was marching down towards the press room within a few minutes of the final whistle, while the assembled press pack were still making their way out of their seats from the main stand. The hacks, myself included, chased Mowbray down the touchline Benny Hill-style, hurdling over hoardings and being forced to show passes to stewards who consider a high visibility jacket as a licence to ask stupid questions ('Are you press are ya?'.... 'No, I bring a laptop to football matches for my health')
Anyhow, the Albion boss was completely oblivious to the 100-metre steeplechase behind him and merely took the plaudits from the remaining, yet happy, visiting fans who were still trying to leave the stadium. And rightly so.

3. I've been to VR four times now but I have yet to see Elton John. Has he lost interest now that Luther Blissett, Kenny Jackett and George Reilly have retired? Do Iveco still exist? And is Nigel Callaghan still DJ-ing in Ibiza?

4. To the owner of that Baby Bentley who almost caused a pile-up on the M1 northbound carriageway at around 6.40pm, near Milton Keynes, on Saturday night - people like you should be made to watch a DVD of Stoke City 'The Tony Pulis years' on a continuous loop...

5. Why has Keith Burkinshaw seemingly not aged since 1984?

It'll be a nostalgic trip back to Watford for Albion duo Paul Robinson and Kevin Phillips tomorrow.

Both players started their professional careers at Vicarage Road, with Robinson signing terms in 1996, just under a year before Phillips earned himself a career-defining move to Sunderland.

The two are good mates after being reunited at The Hawthorns - so much so that they both dyed their hair blond following a barbecue earlier this season.

Although Robinson reckons perhaps they are now getting a little too close..

Robbo explained: "I didn't know Kev too well then but we're getting to know each other too much now, like rubbing each other's heads (after we score).

"It's even more worrying, especially when our wives turn around during the game and see both our sons doing the same thing when we scored.

"It's all a bit of a concern."

Quite.

Still, Watford boss Ady Boothroyd might well be worried.

He's just won the Manager of the Month award for October. And we all know what that means...

First the Liquidator gets banned on safety grounds and now the Albion drummer has been given the Martin Jol treatment by being 'fired' during a game.

For some time now Albion have provided a drum to help generate an atmosphere at The Hawthorns.

Yet it seems a handful of Smethwick Enders have been unhappy with the racket generated by the drum, which happens to be housed in their stand. Fine - it happens, sadly not everyone can be kept satisfied.

But was it really necessary for the unfortunate scenes during Saturday's 2-0 win against Norwich when a mob of stewards caused an almighty fuss by confiscating the offending musical instrument and carrying it like something your dog would ask you to scoop into a carrier bag?

I think not.

Mind you it's still not as ridiculous as the banning of the Liquidator, forced out by the faceless and anonymous 'Safety Committee', who have deemed the Albion anthem as being capable of inciting trouble and hatred.

How on earth is a reggae track supposed to cause trouble? No, I don't know either.

Get over yourselves, whoever you are, and stop taking yourselves so seriously.

No wonder that attendances at most grounds are dwindling when killjoys spend more time preventing fun rather than encouraging it.

Cobblers I say. And I don't mean Northampton Town.

It was interesting to see Martin Jol sacked from Spurs not least because there was a period between Gary Megson and Bryan Robson where, as manager of RKC Waalwijk of Holland, he was considered for the Albion job.

Jol, let's not forget, did, after all, make 63 appearances for the club, scoring four goals in between the odd yellow card here or there.

And that's not all.

When Megson was sacked a certain Albion legend was asked about for his suggestion to take over at B71. His answer: Martin Jol...

I had the pleasure of interviewing him before Albion's FA Cup fourth round tie against Spurs in 2005. Anyone who remembers the specific name of a cafe on West Bromwich High Street, in Carters Green, and has clear memories of feeding the geese at 'Swan Pool' in Dartmouth Park and drank at the 'Europa Hotel' more than two decades on deserves respect. His memory for detail was excellent.

Articulate, clever and a decent coach - Tottenham's loss will be somebody else's gain.

Good luck Martin Jol. Or, to give him the correct spelling, Maarten.

So Gary Megson has finally got his move to the Premiership.

But what kept him?

Well maybe I have some answers.

People will have their own opinions on whether Megson is good enough to manage in the Premiership but in truth he should have been there a long, long time ago because he was good enough. Sadly, you need more than a CV full of promotions and near-misses. Like tact, grace and, in his case, anger management lessons.

Paranoid of his own shadow, unable to cope with the intellect of his brighter players (he was especially threatened by those nearing the end of their careers who were keen to pursue coaching) and frightened of any former Albion hero who challenged him, Megson was the architect of his own downfall at The Hawthorns and the sole reason why so few have been willing to touch him with a bargepole since. Bob Taylor, Richard Sneekes, Richard O'Kelly, Cyrille Regis, John Wile, Jason Roberts, John Trewick...I could go on.

And then there were his disputes with Paul Thompson and Jeremy Peace, where every press conference became his very own political broadcast on behalf of the Megson Party. You could ask a question about a player's groin strain and he'd still manage to have a dig at the chairman during the course of his answer.

Football is a small community, word gets around when someone struggles with harmony and relishes confrontation.

Megson should have been the next English coach to evolve from the Sam Allardyce and David Moyes mould of management - a 'gaffer' who demanded hard work, honesty from his players and whose teams bore the pragmatic hallmarks of the men who managed them. He should be held in the same esteem as these two, yet his stock has been on the wane since he left Albion.

He should have been a manager with several years of Premiership experience behind him, rather than a manager with one top flight relegation to his name.

He could have ended up at Everton.

I recall one chat I had with Megson at The Hawthorns, at the height of his dispute with then chairman Paul Thompson. It was around the time Walter Smith was sacked by Everton. Megson was convinced he was the second choice candidate for the Goodison Park job behind Moyes. It wasn't the first job he went for.

Temporary stands, terracing, a partisan crowd and a press box which could be best described as cosy - welcome to Layer Road.

In fairness I was making my final trip to Colchester's stadium - assuming the FA Cup draw doesn't throw up any nasty surprises - as the Essex boys will be off to pastures new, presumably a bland new home next to a McDonalds and maybe even a Frankie and Benny's.

The less said about Albion's performance the better. You can read all about that particular ordeal in Monday's Birmingham Mail.

But a few things did occur to me during the match...

Tony Mowbray celebrates his first anniversary at the club today but life at The Hawthorns could have been so different...

Mowbray was one of three candidates shortlisted for the job and got voted in unanimously by the Albion board.

The other two candidates? Now that would be telling.

Dutch footballers are technically excellent but woefully daft at times.

Take Johan Cruyff for instance. Holland's No.14 was without doubt one of the finest footballers of all time. Yet during the 1974 World Cup he spent so much time squabbling with his team-mates about sponsorship issues - the Puma-backed genius wore two stripes on his shirt sleeves while he team-mates fulfilled their adidas obligations by wearing three - that the whole team flopped in the final against West Germany. And then, when at his peak, he made himself unavailable for the 1978 World Cup because, well, he couldn't really be bothered.

In 1996 Edgar Davids was sent home from the European Championships in England for suggesting that coach Gus Hiddink's head was stuck somewhere rather dark and unpleasant.

And, since then we've had racial tensions between players, a succession of shoot-out miseries and a tendency to choke at crucial moments.

And now Ryan Babel has topped that. The Liverpool forward missed a training session and pre-match nosh up before the Euro 2008 qualifiers because, according to coach Marco van Basten, he had 'overslept'.

All of which is nothing new to Albion fans and their own experience of a sleepy Dutchman back in 1999.

Thinking that the Easter Monday game against Crewe would be an evening kick-off, the legendary Fabian De Freitas spent the afternoon having a pleasant kip while frantic Albion officials struggled to contact him. His girlfriend, showing loyalty to her partner beyond the call of duty, rather unhelpfully ignored the phone calls.

Meanwhile, over at the Hawthorns, Denis Smith's Albion side, sans De Freitas, were busy getting battered 5-1.

Sherjill MacDonald and Shelton Martis - your cards are marked...

It was the question which kept you all awake at night - stop sniggering - so here's the answer.

So who was the former long haired hero who had taken a pair of scissors to his mane?

Step forward Carl Hoefkens.

The Belgian marched into the training ground yesterday to looks of 'we know you...but we're not sure where from.'

Dean Kiely had a bit more to say about it when the Birmingham Mail caught up with him at lunchtime.

"I normally room with Steelie but I roomed with Carl last Friday and I don't know if I had an effect but he didn't mention his hair so it was a surprise to see it.

"Jono told me that Carl had had his hair cut so I just thought he'd had a trim but he's gone the whole hog, it's all come off and quite spiky - it's very fashionable actually."

There is none of this 'Alice Band' or ponytail nonsense as far as Kiely is concerned.

When asked whether he would be following the likes of Greening and Koren in growing his own hair, he added: "I have no plans to grow mine. I did mine back in 1992 ...when it was fashionable."

Ouch.

So the secret is out although I hear Tony Mowbray let the cat out of the bag at yesterday's Supporters' Forum.

Speaking of which, the Baggies boss was none too pleased to see some of his comments from the meeting - which was supposed to be kept 'within the four walls' - splashed all over some of the fans' message boards today, not least as one or two of his observations were apparently taken out of context.

Ouch. Again.

There's clearly something in the water at Albion's Walsall-based training ground.

Not only did Paul Robinson and Kevin Phillips go white overnight a few weeks back - concocting some likely story about a barbecue, peer pressure and a bottle of Peroxide - but one of Albion's prominent first-teamers has now been forced out of the club's unofficial 'Alice Band' brigade after having his hair lopped off.

The Baggies star looks so different that many of the club's staff didn't even recognise him when he turned up for training today.

So who is the mystery man with the newly-lowered ears? Come back tomorrow and I'll reveal all...

A number of things occured to me while travelling down to Southampton on Saturday.
Firstly, was the shocking intensity of that van blaze on the M40 near Banbury.
Secondly, who was that 'pedestrian' (according to the warning signs) marching down the hard shoulder of the M40, this time nearer to Oxford, and was he 'captured' in time'?
Thirdly, where was the football traffic?
Ah yes, the football traffic...

And then I remembered - Saturdays are now reserved for WAG shopping and Uefa Cup recovery rather than Premiership football. It seems Blackburn were far too tired to play Blues on a Saturday after playing a side of Greek holidaymakers last Thursday, while the mighty Bolton were shattered after scraping past Macedonian 'Workers' (which is what Rabotnicki means in English)
Most of the games took place today apart from West Ham's visit to Villa, who bore everyone to tears anyway, and Manchester United's thrashing of a rugby league team called Wigan.
The rest were on a Sunday. A day for church, resting, roasts, Formula One and for laughing at the Scotland rugby team.
Whatever happens on the Sabbath, Sundays are certainly not for football.

And there is the lesson to all Baggies fans. Your team might be fighting for promotion back to the Premiership but I wonder whether it might be less hassle staying out of the Greed League - is there any fun trying to be 17th? - and sticking it out with the likes of Norwich, Palace and, heaven help us, Stoke City in the second tier. At least you know where you are on a Saturday afternoon.
In my case it meant spending yesterday afternoon enthusing over a stunning cruise liner docked in Southampton marina, listening to anti-Burma protesters playing the Bongos in the coastal city's shopping centre before watching an entertaining football match at St Mary's. The alternative would have been a trip to Ikea, Merry Hill or the Bullring.
And, quite frankly, that really doesn't bear thinking about.

Sunderland 0 ALBION 1 (April 2004)

Stoke City 4 ALBION 1 (May 2004)
Southampton 2 ALBION 2 (November 2004)
ALBION 0 Southampton 0 (February 2005)
Sunderland 1 ALBION 1 (September 2005)
ALBION 0 Sunderland 1 (January 2006)
Southampton 0 ALBION 0 (August 2006)
Sunderland 2 ALBION 0 (August 2006)
ALBION 1 Southend 1 (September 2006)
Stoke 1 ALBION 0 (November 2006)
Sheffield Wednesday 3 ALBION 1 (November 2006)
Southend 3 ALBION 1 (January 2007)
ALBION 1 Southampton 1 (February 2007)
ALBION 1 Sunderland 2 (March 2007)
ALBION 1 Stoke City 3 (April 2007)
ALBION 0 Sheffield Wednesday 1 (April 2007)
Sheffied United 1 ALBION 0 (August 2007)

Scunthorpe 2 ALBION 3 (September 2007)

I make that 16 games, 1440 minutes and three-and-a-half years.

It was high time Albion beat a club beginning with the letter S.

Was he pushed? Did he walk? Was it a game of Russian Roulette with Roman which simply went wrong? (although, with Deer Hunter in mind, perhaps not)

Who knows.

But any story which keeps Northern Flamin Rock away from the front pages has to be a good thing.

And we'll probably never know what happened to Mourinho although 'mutual consent' usually means anything but.

Such dubious dishonesty isn't a problem at The Hawthorns.

Just before yesterday's press conference Tony Mowbray mentioned that he doesn't read newspapers but, as he passed the press cuttings spread out on a table in the media office of the training ground, he couldn't help but marvel at the fact that not one of the journalists had mis-quoted him.

"You actually write everything I say word for word," said Mowbray, somewhat shocked, but possibly also relieved.

I think it was a compliment.

Why is it that airports in hot countries never have air conditioning?
Maribor airport in Slovenia could certainly do with it after temperatures edged towards the late 30s in the nation's second city today.
The 90 minute delay to our flight following Albion's successful tour didn't help matters either.

But at least there was a consolation - a chance for super snapper Sam and I to mingle with some of the fans who travelled over to support the club in the former Yugoslav republic. A big 'good to meet you' can officially go out to Shrew and his mate, Alistair and friends, Dean Walton, Fabrize from West Bromwich and the two lads from Bromsgrove who got hassled in Split after the Hajduk game. And then there was Sauce with the cleanest and biggest St George's flag in Slovenia - coming to an away ground near you next season. Hope you all got back safely.

Mind you our photographer Sam's stress levels weren't too great. After a fraught journey trying to find Maribor airport - Slovenia do maps and road signs as well as England do summer weather - he then endured more fun and games at the check-in desk. Ryanair at Stansted clearly have different rules to their colleagues at Maribor, with Sam being forced to fork out for overweight baggage. His mood took another dip when he was called over the tannoy to report to the baggage handers and open up his camera bag.

Still, it could have been worse, Albion players were up at 4am and then had a five hour delay over at Zagreb airport. Football isn't all glamour...

And finally, before I log off, I'd just like to say a big hello to my friends over at Blues' training camp in Germany, particularly our regular reader Rowan Vine. Good luck for this season Rowan.

John Hartson. Call him what you will - he's actually a really nice bloke - but the Slovenian press are clearly big fans.

Ahead of tonight's game against Crvena Zvezda, Big John was the main topic of conversation in one local newspaper.

Hartson opted to run rather than cycle the 5-mile journey back from the training ground to the hotel two days ago.

The Slovenian press described him as the 'perfect role-model'.

In fairness, John has been putting in the effort and mileage during this trip. Will it be enough? We'll see...

There were more shenanigans as the foreigners took on Team England game at the training pitch this morning. England normally win at a canter.

Not this time.

The overseas contigent - including the Irish, Scottish and Welsh lot - coasted to a 6-1 win.

At 4-1, Tony Mowbray said: "Zolly, are you missing Jason and Diomansy?"

The silence was deafening.

Mind you, Mr Bean doesn't say much anyway...

And then there's Jonathan Greening. The Albion midfielder signed shirts and flags for the few Baggies fans who made the trip to the Balkans - hi Sauce, nice flag by the way - but clearly the heat had got to Jono.

Albion's resident Countdown expert (yes, of course I'm joking) had signed his name and the words 'Bong Bong' on the souvenirs.

Are you going to tell him or shall I?

It's quite apt Albion should be playing the team known as Red Star Belgrade this week of all weeks as they evoke memories of their 1979 Uefa Cup run, which ended with a quarter-final defeat against the Serbian giants.

This Tuesday marked the 18th anniversary of Laurie Cunningham's tragic death, the Albion genius who made his career on the back of that famous European adventure 10 years earlier, notably against Valencia in the previous round. That performance earned him a move to Real Madrid in the summer of 1979.

Tony Mowbray's men will take on the Serbs tomorrow (now known as Crvena Zvezda, which actually means 'Red Star' anyway - so why the name change?) at the 5,400-capacity Fazanerija stadium in Murska Sobota, home to Mura 05.

That game in '79 also saw arguably the greatest-ever Big Ronism.

Albion were knocked out after conceding a controversial last minute equaliser at the Hawthorns following a 1-0 loss in Belgrade.

Mr Atkinson was not happy.

"I never comment on referees and I'm not about to break the habit for that idiot (for want of a better word)".

Quite.

Finally, a member of the press corps in Slovenia is nursing a rather white handprint on the left shoulder after taking off his shirt to catch some rays as temperatures reached a frightening 39 degrees celsius during this morning's training session. The hapless journalist brushed his hand, which was covered in Factor 35 intended to cover his forehead, against his shoulder to swat away a rather excitable fly.

Tomorrow, I intend to keep my shirt on at all times.

There was 'Old Woman' Chaplow, 'Sheikh' Phillips, 'no-hands' Albrechtsen and 'Yellow Jersey' Koren.
Welcome to the Tour de Slovenia - the shortest bike race in the history of bike races.
Tony Mowbray left the team bus in the garage this morning and ordered his players onto the saddle for the five mile journey from hotel to their training venue at Murska Sobota's stadium (which is surely the only stadium with a beer garden looking out onto the pitch - English football clubs take note).
The early minutes of the race were hard. Richard Chaplow, wearing his shirt wrapped around his head like a Babushka, raced into the lead while Jon Greening smiled, said 'this is the life' and free-wheeled past us, showing all the urgency of a Sunday-afternoon pensioner out on a bike ride with his grandkids. He was lucky. With the pack well ahead Jonno and Craig Beattie were left behind and almost ended up in Hungary. Thankfully Joe Corrigan was waiting to check on the stragglers. 'This way lads'.
Back to the front runners.
Martin Albrechtsen, who was obviously not new to his bicycle lark, took a chunk out of Paul Robinson's knuckle as he whizzed past no-handed while Kevin Phillips had transformed his training top into arabic headwear. Nice.
As the training ground came into view there was a sudden surge from Greening, showing that he's more Lance Armstrong and Louis Armstrong when he wants to be. But it wasn't to be.
At the finishing line - or the stadium car park actually - Robert Koren stormed through looking like a man who had had a lift all the way there. This man doesn't seem to sweat. But then he knows Slovenia like the back of his hand, which was hardly fair on the others.

There was 'Old Woman' Chaplow, 'Sheikh' Phillips, 'no-hands' Albrechtsen and 'Yellow Jersey' Koren.
Welcome to the Tour de Slovenia - the shortest bike race in the history of bike races.
Tony Mowbray left the team bus in the garage this morning and ordered his players onto the saddle for the five mile journey from hotel to their training venue at Murska Sobota's stadium (which is surely the only stadium with a beer garden looking out onto the pitch - English football clubs take note).
The early minutes of the race were hard. Richard Chaplow, wearing his shirt wrapped around his head like a Babushka, raced into the lead while Jon Greening smiled, said 'this is the life' and free-wheeled past us, showing all the urgency of a Sunday-afternoon pensioner out on a bike ride with his grandkids. He was lucky. With the pack well ahead Jonno and Craig Beattie were left behind and almost ended up in Hungary. Thankfully Joe Corrigan was waiting to check on the stragglers. 'This way lads'.
Back to the front runners.
Martin Albrechtsen, who was obviously not new to his bicycle lark, took a chunk out of Paul Robinson's knuckle as he whizzed past no-handed while Kevin Phillips had transformed his training top into arabic headwear. Nice.
As the training ground came into view there was a sudden surge from Greening, showing that he's more Lance Armstrong and Louis Armstrong when he wants to be. But it wasn't to be.
At the finishing line - or the stadium car park actually - Robert Koren stormed through looking like a man who had had a lift all the way there. This man doesn't seem to sweat. But then he knows Slovenia like the back of his hand, which was hardly fair on the others.

Albion players are getting their very own crash course in Slovenian as they bake in temperatures in the mid-30s at their Moravske Toplice training base.
Robert Koren, The Baggies' resident Slovenian, had a word with some of his team-mates before Friday's game against Hajduk Split. And it wasn't very pleasant.
Do tell us more Robert...
"When we played against Hajduk (last Friday) I passed on some bad words to our players for them to say to the opposition players if anything was said to them. The English players are so focused I don't think they remembered. But I spoke to some of the players from Hajduk and, yes, a few bad words were exchanged but that happens in football..."

Thankfully, Koren had the good sense to remove his not-so-macho hair braids before embarking on his war of words with Split's finest.

Meanwhile, David Worrall has probably used a few swear words of his own this week after seeing red for the second time in 24 hours. Harshly sent off against Hajduk, the Albion midfielder took a blow to the nose from a wayward swimmer during a trip to the local water park yesterday. Ouch!

David Beckham might have the whole of America bowing down before him - okay, perhaps just the one per cent who like 'soccer' - but I bet he's never had a drink named after him.

Albion fans can raise a glass or two to their favourite team in the literal sense the next time they fly on an Irish-owned budget airline.

Ryanair's in-flight drinks menu includes a 'Bullseye Baggies' drink, which is effectively a discounted spirit of your choice. Naturally my photographer Sam and I abstained from the offer, but the same perhaps couldn't be said for the group of four 30-something Albion fans who stumbled onto our Slovenia-bound flight just moments before the doors shut with more rocket fuel inside them than our 737.

Slovenia, you have been warned...

As most Albion fans make their way down to Wembley on Monday morning, a coach will be pulling up outside a West Bromwich hotel ready to take a group of VIPs down to the new national stadium.
But these are no ordinary VIPs.

The head count will include Ally Robertson, Joe Mayo, Graham Williams, Ian Hamilton to name just four. The coach-load of Albion's Former Players Association members will travel down to cheer on Tony Mowbray's class of 2007 hoping to see a new hero write his name into Albion folklore. Question is, who will bag the much-coveted front row seats on the Legends Express?

The Baggies are certainly a draw right now - I'm told that even Don Howe and Bobby Gould want to see their former club in action and have been trying to get Wembley tickets.

Speaking of play-off finals, don't expect to see John Hartson playing much part at Wembley. He wasn't even included in Albion's Harvey Nichols-inspired photo call at the training ground this lunchtime...

There were no clues that I was entering the house of an Albion Legend.

No signed shirts, no football memorabilia, no trophies. Perhaps they were in another room. Perhaps not.

The only clue I got was a small framed picture of the Legend shaking the hand of the Queen Mother before the FA Cup Final.

Just when you thought Fifa or the FA had cornered the market for stupidity up pop the Football League to leave Albion and Derby fans bemused and furious.

The 17,000 Club Wembley seats - purchased on a 10-year debenture - had only half been filled, presumably by those who have heard that there is life beyond the Premiership.

The Baggies, having already sold their 33,000 allocation, tried to buy unused tickets to sell onto Albion fans. The Football League told them that they wouldn't allow this because of segregation problems.

Engineering works on the trains, weak lager, cardboard food, extortionate prices, no car parks for miles (apart from a Polish-owned scrapyard charging £20 to look after your vehicle*) and a third of the stadium going to people who wouldn't know where Sandwell is on a map. Oh, and it's in London - the biggest slum in the country.

Apart from that next Monday's play-off final at Wembley should be a fantastic occasion...

See you there.

*In Polish we call them Zlodzieje. Look it up on Google...