Can't wait to see Harry Redknapp this weekend. It will be cheaper than the £20 I paid to watch Frank Skinner at the NIA.
Just a pity the Pompey boss ducked out of his pre-match press conference down on the south coast because his post-arrest press conference was up there with Jimmy Carr or Peter Kay.
"They searched the house and took a computer away that I bought my wife two years ago - I think she learnt to turn it on four weeks ago", he began.
"I held a meeting with my players. I told them about the agent and that allegedly he had paid some of his fee to the player. All of them wanted his phone number because they had never heard of an agent who wanted to give a player any money!"- now into his groove.
"I have received texts from many players who I have worked with - and top managers - and I have really appreciated them. Of course, I couldn't get e-mails because now I haven't got a computer." Wild hilarity.
Did someone mention Panorama?
The answer is yes they did, incredibly, and Redknapp not surprisingly walked out.
I've never see a Villa manager storm anywhere. Unless you are David O'Leary onto the pitch at St Andrew's.
But quite a bit has happened in the world of Villa and slightly beyond since I last tapped on these withered keyboard letters.
Martin O'Neill unhappy with Sven Goran Eriksson? Not really. Not when I spoke to him a fortnight ago and revealed to him that the Italian press were quoting Sven as pushing Olof Mellberg in Juventus' direction. "I'll have to do the same to all his players to Barcelona", came his witty reply.
O'Neill knows the game. This is just paper-talk.
Mellberg may or may not stay, and it's in the balance alright, but it won't be down to Eriksson as to whether the Italians make their move.
Speaking of O'Neill. I still fear that call from the FA.
Jose Mourinho has been bluffing all along about his interest in taking over as England coach.
That ridiculous TV interview over his green garden gate, tagged "exclusive- Mourinho opens his heart on the England job"- just laughable.
Back to Villa...another win at Middlesbrough- Villa were poor for 45 minutes and George Boateng was running the show until the lads in claret and blue rolled up their socks and suddenly realised they were playing at The Riverside and not the San Siro.
Always a good day out that one. The 380 miles just fly by, particularly for the coach-load of Villans who just happen to drop off in the quaint village of Osmotherly en-route to the stadium for four hours beforehand.
That publican's 'Christmas' is already over. He is now retired and living on a yacht off the south of France off the profits of that Villa party.
The night at Blackburn was even more remarkable. No, not just because I managed to catch Roy Aitken on his mobile phone to wish him all the best as I arrived for my pre-match pint, but the game wasn't half-bad, was it?
Poor for just the opening half an hour and lucky not to be a goal down, Villa got the lead and the crucial sending off decision went their way. It ws nevertheless a magnificent win.
Then the defeat to Arsenal. Outplayed for 45 minutes, then blood and guts and thunder for the second 45 minutes only to just fall short as Villa always do to them.
What is it? 13 losses and 5 draws in nine years?
Then there was that Cup draw. Sammy Nelson's infamous 24 or 25 ball shuffle. Just a trick of the light, methinks.
I've seen the video and I still can't tell. The FA aren't bothered so I am amazed it even became a story.
Not like up north of the border where the semi-finals of the CIS Cup were read out wrongly so that Dundee United weren't in fact set to play Hearts, as was read aloud, but were told four hours later they were playing Aberdeen. Hilarious stuff.
Can Villa turn the tide on United after all these years? No.
Villa always beat Boro away, Villa invariably beat Blackburn away, Villa always lose to Arsenal, Villa always beat Portsmouth at home... Villa always lose to United. Such things are enshrined in Villa's recent history.
And by January Wayne Rooney will be back firing on all cylinders waiting to scare the heebie-jeebies out of Zat Knight again.
Villa should see off Pompey tomorrow, even taking into consideration Niko Krancjar lining up for Pompey against Scott Carson which could make that first free-kick a nervy one.
I happen to be one of the very few people who never saw England crash that night. Carson has already bounced back. Not a foot wrong this season.
So why was Seamus McDonagh watching Stephen Hennessy on Tuesday I hear you ask?
Villa have to cover all bases and all eventualities. And can anyone seriously see Thomas Sorensen staying beyond the opening week of January, or Stuart Taylor staying beyond June?
Speaking of Tuesday, I just happened to take in the local 'derby', of sorts, at The Hawthorns where I saw Coventry gain revenge in some style for a hammering three weeks earlier.
Attacking play there was plenty... defending there was very little, of substance anyway.
The gap between the two divisions was- on that occasion- startling. Compare it to the Villa- Arsenal game of 72 hours earlier and it was chalk and cheese, not only with the players on view but also the officiating.
We saw a player red carded for kicking the ball away and then fouling a player; We saw a goal disallowed and another goal given when it was deemed to have crossed the line; We saw a goal given when an initial ball through looked to be to a player in an offside position; We saw a goalkeeper given a yellow card for handball and not a red card after a quick free-kick was taken when the ball was still rolling...
I could go on. Mark Clattenburg would never have gotten away with it in the Premier League, and my point is: under the glare of publicity in the top division referees escape nothing. And away from all the cameras and the hype in the Championship they can get away with murder.
Anyway, must dash.
Good luck to Ricky Hatton.
Anyone know any good pubs near Sunderland?
Until next time......