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Christmas Cake.

What can you do with Mums eh?
In the run-up to Christmas, Mary and I each told our mums: "Look, please, don't get us a Christmas cake this year. We're on a health drive. No sweet stuff. No cake. We always appreciate the cake and it is always delicious but, this year, please, we'll give it a miss. No cake. Ta."
Both maters appeared to take this message on board. But, just in case, we reinforced it a couple of times as Chrimbo approached. "Please...no cake...health drive...no cake...that is...cake not...no cake. "Righty-ho," they both said.

Both gave us a Christmas cake. What can you do?

Comments (22)

Paul:

Ask for an Action Man deserter?

M.Antoinette.:

Let them eat cake.

John Flavell:

Happy New Year, Brian. How's the health drive going, are you out of first gear yet?
Bet you're not as fit as Alan Evans yet!!

brian:

Mr Flavell, how y' doin? Did you get a new green suit for Christmas? The 1994 model must be getting a bit frayed by now.
A very Happy New Year to you mate. Health drive going well. Aim to be down below 25 stone by March.

And may I wish a very Happy New Year to all Bears followers especially those groovy enough to get involved with the cricket blog last summer, notably Jane, Kim, Paul, Paul D., Emma, Balsall Heathen, Alan Evans, Pat Murphy, John Howes, Offside Frank, Tall Bear, Bear with a Sore Head, Oliver, O.Timer, Warley B., Derek, Mrs Trellis, Alan from the Village, Eddie from the End House and all you other excellent people.

H.Weeks.:

Do they still make lardy cakes? I haven't seen any around for ages.

Alan from the village:

Hi Bri, Happy Christmas and new year. Did you receive a card from that nice Mr Greatbatch? No nor me. The post really is most unreliable, isn't it? Well here's a funny thing that had me thinking of you on Christmas day. My son was given an action man. Only when he opened the box he found it contained only a catalogue. Apparently it was the last one in the shop and had been used only for display purposes. I tried the deserter gag but it didn’t seem to amuse him particularly. Never mind, I’ll heed your example and keep retelling it. Hope all well.

brian:

Hi Alan. Nice to hear from you. Bet the village looks lovely this time of year.
No, sadly, I didn't receive a Chrimbo card from Mr Greatbatch. I wish him well though. I hope he won't find spending the large pay-off he received from Warwickshire for all his excellent work there too taxing.
Happily, I understand that, during December, Mark was able to top up his bank balance by operating sucessfully as a freelance Santa Claus in stores, schools, shopping centres and the like. His warm, gregarious and generous-spirited personality is, of course, ideally-suited to the role of Santa.

Kim:

"His warm, gregarious and generous-spirited personality is, of course, ideally-suited to the role of Santa."

Santa Claws?

Alan from the village:

“The skills levels of the reindeer are a worry but we're asking the elves to show some character. I’ve got my eye on some young South African reindeer for next season, so you can’t blame me for anything.” Actually I hear he’s been playing beach cricket in Aus. Can’t think of anything more likely to make children flee from the sea...

The Green Bean:

Greatbatch has apparently been in panto this last month in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Apparently one of the roles fits him like a glove. Can't think which one...

Kim:

"And, come December 26th, how do you see your position in the Christmas organisation, Mr Claws?" - Jounalistic Elf.

*Santa stomps out of Grotto*

Eddie from the End House:

Don't think Batch is Santa material. He'd be struggling to get down yer average chimney.

The Voice of Reason:

Enough of Mark Greatbatch. He did his best and for whatever reason it wasnt good enough. Let's look forward under Ashley and A.D.

Jane Hyatt:

Brian Alan and I will do our best to knock you off the health kick at lunch soon. Although I too am on the healthly life style trip. Unfornutaly Peters choc fudge is great and his triffles are even better. (i am told)

The Voice of Criticism (most of it justified):

The Voice of Reason, you are just far too boring.
Forget looking forward to promise and potential.
You should be raking over the past and having a good old moan.
Any of that cake going spare Brian?

brian:

How wonderful to see Alan Richardson called up for the England A tour to India. One of the nicest sportsmen - no, make that nicest people - in the world and a really good cricketer. Warwickshire's decision to discard Richardson a few years ago was barmy. Nick Knight made many good decision during his time with the Bears - that wasn't one of them!
Go, Richo, Go. Now all it needs is an injury or two among the paceman when England tour New Zealand and A.Richardson esq. could well find himself in the Test match arena.
Now that would be brilliant!

Sorry Mr V.O.C (M.O.I.J). We left the cake out in the rain (isn't that a song?) and it has been polished off by the greenfinches.

Jane Hyatt:

Yes its a song I think it was Richard Harris as King Arthur maybe in Camelot cant be sure. We had a cake made for us too we still have it,it is so full of brandy so I wont eat it.

Kev R.:

Wsn't it Mcarthur Park. Glen Campbell. One of the dreariest records ever.

Chun Ja:

There's no rime or reason to it.

Smithy:

Meanwhile, where's Brian gone?? Happy New Year, Bri... Helllooooooo?

brian:

Still here - though seriously contemplating a switch of career. To something relatively edifying and rewarding. Like maybe arms-dealing or international parrot-smuggling.

Chun Ja:

Or piranha dental surgery.

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