Birmingham Mail

Five things occured to me at Vicarage Road.

1. The groundstaff don't mess around after the final whistle - the football goals come up, the rugby posts are slotted in and the new lines are marked out by 5.05pm. Question is, can anyone tell the difference between Saracens and Watford, given the number of high, long balls the Hornets pumped down the channels during the first half?

2. Tony Mowbray is no slouch. The Vicarage Road press room is situated in a Portakabin next to the away end behind one of the goals. An Albion victory usually means that Mowbray is swift in coming out to speak to the press. On Saturday he was so quick that he was marching down towards the press room within a few minutes of the final whistle, while the assembled press pack were still making their way out of their seats from the main stand. The hacks, myself included, chased Mowbray down the touchline Benny Hill-style, hurdling over hoardings and being forced to show passes to stewards who consider a high visibility jacket as a licence to ask stupid questions ('Are you press are ya?'.... 'No, I bring a laptop to football matches for my health')
Anyhow, the Albion boss was completely oblivious to the 100-metre steeplechase behind him and merely took the plaudits from the remaining, yet happy, visiting fans who were still trying to leave the stadium. And rightly so.

3. I've been to VR four times now but I have yet to see Elton John. Has he lost interest now that Luther Blissett, Kenny Jackett and George Reilly have retired? Do Iveco still exist? And is Nigel Callaghan still DJ-ing in Ibiza?

4. To the owner of that Baby Bentley who almost caused a pile-up on the M1 northbound carriageway at around 6.40pm, near Milton Keynes, on Saturday night - people like you should be made to watch a DVD of Stoke City 'The Tony Pulis years' on a continuous loop...

5. Why has Keith Burkinshaw seemingly not aged since 1984?