I'm all in a tiz today after my auntie, Betty the Bike, gave me some scary news when I popped into her workshop last night.
It appears that the University of Central England want the Speedway to be stopped and are calling on the council to bring the axe down on our beautiful sport.
It appears the poor students are scared of the sounds of the loud bikes, ahh diddums.
Thats right folks the students want to stop the speedway because they are scared of the sweet sound of the speedway!
Can you believe it? Finally after all these years of being speedwayless we get it back and now the students want to stop it.
Well I can tell you students are not the most popular people in Skidder's house and I had to muzzle Betty the Bike last night because if she got out in to Perry Barr she would have been a sight to behold.
In fact Betty the Bike put it better than I could ever put it. After putting her spanner down she took a long drag of her Lambert and Butler fag and bellowed at me: "Who the hell do they think they are, Skidder?"
And with a pain she yelped with cry "Why are trying to stop the Speedway?
"They come here with their daft names like Tarquin and Horatio for about three years studying some wishy washy degree like David Beckham's bum or the lyrics of Girls Aloud then bugger off home and forget all about Perry Barr.
"And while their here they try and stop our Speedway which brings so much joy to us local Brummies."
Wiping the WD40 over her Queen Rocks T-Shirt she continued her rant after a belch that cleared the airways of pork scratching dust.
"How can they moan about the noise, it is only once a week for God's sake and they are not even here during the Summer!
"Do I moan about the noise when they come home from the student union throwing traffic cones around? No I don't.
"Do I moan when I am waiting for a pint of Mickey Mouse at the Seventh Trap and I have to wait for some bumbling fool trying to pay for a shandy by cheque, do I hell moan, live and live that's what I say.
"Do I moan when we find out three students are moving next door and getting in a lather looking forward to borrowing a cup of coffee off a few hunks and then three dweebs from the home counties come in who are about as sexy as my Dave's pigeon.
"Skidder, get a pen - I'm writing to Jeremey Clarkson."
I hope for everyone's sake that speedway keeps on going in Perry Barr because Betty the Bike on the warpath is not a pretty site, believe me.
Comments (12)
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